50 is coming…
In 100 days, I’m going to turn 50.
Breathe…
Yes, I know, gazillions of people have been there before me, and having an issue about turning a half-century makes me a giant cliché. And yet, in my mind it feels like a surreal number that has nothing at all to do with me. My passport, however, insists it’s really going to happen – on November 19th.
My brain is still working on the feeling that I’m around 30. In a way that’s a relief. And yet I realise I can’t just cruise into 50 like I’m turning 30 and feel entirely good about it.
So if I don’t put a bunch of plans – and more importantly actions – into place before the day, it’s going to suddenly hit home that I’ve reached over half way (probably) in my life and, in my less buoyant and more dramatic moments I suspect I’ll feel like not only do I have precious little to show for it but sooner or later I’ll be facing a slow cruise downhill to decrepitude.
My mind loves to throw up all sorts of age related disaster scenarios.
Of course, these days age is an entirely arbitrary benchmark. So perhaps it is in particular the turning of the decade that hits home so hard. Did I feel the same at 40? Yes, but less so.
Thankfully, 50 is apparently the new 30. And to make sure my version of 50 really does continue to feel like 30, I have a plan. It’s sketchy at best, my 30-year-old self isn’t a planner, but over the next few months I’m hoping it comes together.
What to call it? The 50 Project is nice and safe. The New 50 feels hopeful and positive. Smashing 50 sounds like it requires me to step up a scary amount and really hit it out of the ballpark. So I guess that’s the one!
So, here I am, heading for 50 and attempting to take on on a host of new skills while hoping at least a few of them stick under the stern gaze of this ominously looming birthday.
I’m pretty sure quite a bit of this will hurt. But I’m well aware I need to force myself out of my many comfort zones and make friends with discomfort. And writing about it makes it a bit more real, enforces a bit more commitment and suddenly feels quite a bit more scary.
THE (VAGUE) PLAN:
Go minimalist
Yes my friends and acquaintances may well be choking into their lattes right now. Clutter has long been my default interior design style. No more.
Prioritise health-care and self-care
- Clean my diet
Once I have cleared a little space, I need to clean my diet. I’ve been ricocheting back and forth with my diet, my weight and my self-discipline my whole almost-half-century life. Enough already! My goal – to lose at least 5kg, stop being an emotional eater and be totally energised by November 19th.
- Feel fitter than ever
I love exercise – especially yoga, trail running and bootcamp. So why do I so often avoid all three? I need to make them constant companions, no-brainer habits and high points of my otherwise mostly sedentary days.
- Do a bunch of testing
It’s my responsibility at this age to do a few tests. Perhaps an overall executive check-up. Hormones for sure. Food intolerances would be interesting. And of course cancer type tests. Yikes.
- Focus on mental health
Meditate regularly not sporadically. Go on a complaints detox. Cleanse my inner dialogue, especially when talking to/about myself. Become a yes person, while using no to practice self-care. Stop comparing myself. Practice gratitude…
- Time management
I can’t even put into words how vital time management is to a freelancer… and how bad I am at it. I’m either completely deadline oriented and frantic or, between deadlines, completely lazy and time wasting. I let my work muscle its way into my weekends and I let writer’s block rear its ugly head during weekdays. Time for change.
Find new purpose
My purpose for as long as I can remember has been to write articles for other people. I need to start working on something tangible for myself. It’s a career spring clean that will take me deep into fear-of-failing territory. If failing is the new success, what am I going to “fail” at? Writing a book, conquering social media, becoming a speaker within my industry, jumping on the digital nomad bandwagon, trying out an actual full-time job, all of the above?
Control finances and admin
I’ve shied away from having much control or understanding when it comes to my finances and paperwork for ages. Classic head-in-the-sand behaviour of someone who prefers not to look too closely at the bottom line. Obviously this must change. And it’s not only about being organised, it’s also about monetising myself and my skills to the best of their abilities and attracting abundance.
No doubt my fledgling attempt at making and following a plan will journey through all sorts of wrong turns, 180s and dead ends, but 50 is coming for better or worse, and I’m determined it’s going to change my life, for the better.
So, apparently I’m going to smash 50. No pressure!
